What happens to the people we love after we are gone? That question sits at the heart of every estate plan. And, it turns out, at the heart of Hamnet, the 2025 film based on Maggie O’Farrell’s award-winning novel. On this episode of 82 Toothpicks, we came away with a lot to say about grief, legacy, and what it means to leave something behind.
Hamnet tells the story of Agnes, wife to the man history knows as William Shakespeare, and the death of their young son, Hamnet. It is a quiet, layered film packed with symbolism. But beneath the period setting, the hosts found themes that feel remarkably familiar: the weight of loss, the difficulty of making decisions while grieving, and the question of how a family carries on.
This episode covers estate planning and grief, yes, but it also covers the nature of legacy itself. Amber called it one of the best movies she has ever seen. Ethan gave it a perfect ten. And even Thad, who is usually the everyman skeptic of the group, found things worth thinking about. Press play to hear the full conversation.
In This Episode
- Grief and estate planning: how loss affects the decisions families make
- Legacy planning: how Shakespeare used Hamlet to honor his dead son Hamnet
- Emotional capacity: whether you are ready to make important decisions while grieving
- What happens to children when a parent is unavailable — physically or emotionally
- The symbolism of the film and what it reveals about how we process death
Grief Makes Estate Planning Harder Than You Think
One of the most striking moments in the episode comes when Ethan shares a story about a real client. The client and his wife had come in for an estate planning consultation. Shortly after, his wife died and soon after that, he did some estate planning for himself. Then a few months later, he returned and told Ethan something unexpected:
“I regret doing the work that I did on my estate plan when I did it because I was not emotionally competent, even though I was mentally competent to make those decisions and I didn’t really understand what I was doing, because I was still in the middle of the grieving process.” — Episode 39, 82 Toothpicks
That distinction — emotionally competent versus mentally competent — matters. You can be fully capable of signing documents while still not being in a place where you understand what you are agreeing to. Grief clouds judgment in ways that are easy to miss in the moment. You feel like you need to do something. So you do it. And later, you wish you had waited.
The hosts saw this tension play out repeatedly in Hamnet. Agnes makes decisions throughout the film under enormous emotional strain. Amber noted that she often seemed unstable. Not incapacitated, but not fully grounded either. Her older daughter steps into practical responsibility in her place. That pattern — a grieving parent and a child quietly filling the gap — is something we at Huizenga Law Firm sees in real families all the time.
So what do you do? Give yourself time. If you are in the immediate aftermath of a loss, handle the urgent legal requirements, then pause. The deeper planning decisions like how assets are distributed, who serves as trustee, and how your values get passed on can wait a few months. [INTERNAL LINK: suggest page about estate planning after the loss of a spouse]
Legacy Is Not Just What You Leave — It Is Who You Remember
Amber makes the most moving observation of the episode. After Hamnet dies, Shakespeare returns to London and eventually writes the play that bears his son’s name. Four hundred years later, we are still saying that name. That, Amber points out, is an act of legacy planning. One of the most unusual and enduring ever recorded.
But she also raises a question that the firm genuinely faces when working with parents who have lost a child: how do you honor someone who did not get to build their own legacy? Some families create a charitable fund in the child’s name. Others leave a portion of their estate to causes the child loved. Others write letters or record videos that get passed down through generations. There is no single right answer. But there is a real conversation to have, and estate planning is where you have it.
The hosts also talk about what it means to still be experiencing a legacy centuries later. Hamlet is performed on stages around the world every year. The film Hamnet is itself a continuation of that chain. Ethan observed that this is the first movie they have covered on 82 Toothpicks where the legacy is still actively unfolding. Every family’s story has that potential. Not necessarily on a Shakespearean scale, but in ways that matter deeply to the people who come after.
What Happens to the Kids When No One Is Steering the Ship?
One of the most practical threads in the episode involves the Shakespeare children. When Agnes decides to go to London to confront her husband, she takes her brother, her most trusted person, with her. Amber and Ethan both ask the same question: where are the kids?
It is a question that estate planning is supposed to answer before the situation arises. Who cares for your children if you are gone, or even just temporarily unavailable? The film does not spell out the answer, which is part of what makes it uncomfortable to watch. The older daughter steps up, but she shouldn’t have to. That gap between what a family needs and what has been arranged is exactly what guardianship planning addresses.
The hosts don’t go deep into the legal mechanics of guardianship on this episode, and that’s fine. But the film made the point visually and emotionally in a way that no seminar handout can. If something happened to you today, who would be in charge of your children? Is that answer written down somewhere legally binding?
To Be or Not to Be: What Happens After We Die?
The most philosophical thread in the episode is also the most estate-planning-adjacent. Ethan notes that the film takes the question of what happens after death seriously, not in a religious or political way but in a deeply human one. We see Hamnet beyond what the film calls the veil. We see him watching. And we see the bird, a symbol threaded through the entire movie, circle back to him.
That’s the question underneath every estate plan: what continues after I am gone? Not just the money or the property. The values. The stories. The relationships. The things I cared about. A good estate plan isn’t just a legal document; it’s a statement about what matters. And Hamnet, in its quiet, symbolic way, argues that the answer to that question can outlast everything else.
Questions Worth Asking After You Watch This Movie
- If I made major legal decisions right now while grieving or under stress? Would I trust those decisions in five years?
- If a child of mine died before I did, how would I want to honor them in my estate plan?
- If something happened to both my spouse and me, do my children have someone ready and legally authorized to step in?
- What legacy am I building, and is any of it written down where it can outlast me?
Ready to Start the Conversation?
Hamnet is a film about loss, memory, and the things we leave behind. Estate planning is the practical version of the same conversation. If this episode gave you something to think about, we would love to help you take the next step.
Schedule a free consultation with Ethan and the team at Huizenga Law Firm to talk through your own plan. You can also download Ethan’s It’s Not Too Late book series for practical guidance on protecting your family and your legacy. Call us at (712) 737-3885 to get started.
And subscribe to 82 Toothpicks wherever you listen to podcasts. Because every movie is an estate planning movie.